Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Cherish
8:35 PM
Hmm...
I think most of the people will only start to cherish people/things
Only after they lost it..
Why cant they start to cherish the every moment they have..
And stop regretting of not cherishing it after losing it..
Don't ever take things or people for granted..
Life have many unpredictable events happening..
Someone may just leave you suddenly and never come back..
Like relationship break up or someone close to you pass away..
And recently, one of my friend de family member pass away..
It was very sudden..
Only after this incident
I realised i have to start cherishing people in my life..
Because life is really unpredictable..
One moment you can still be alive
The next moment you can be on the way to heaven..
So i guess i am just like most of us..
Taking things/people for granted..
Start to cherish everything,person you have in your life now!
So you wouldn't regret it later on once you lost it..
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Something about Love
9:45 PM
Love,guess i knew nothing at all.
Somehow i misunderstood what love is..
Because it turns out that,
Love isn't what i thought it would be..
I thought loving someone would be simple..
But it turns out wrong..
Things went complicated..
Got myself into a mess..
Ruined my mood, my life...
I felt so not me!
Doesn't know whats wrong with me..
Can't seems to fix myself..
I don't like the present me anymore..
I need to be the original me again..
I need to find myself again..
I will never understand what love is afterall..
Because i thought i knew it..
But it turns out i was wrong..
So wrong about it..
I felt so stupid..
Went into r/s with a guy..
"I Love You" this 3 words,
How can i say this 3 words so easily to someone?
I thought i was serious about it..
But, no..
Soon after that i realise..
I don't really like/love him as much as i thought i would..
And soon i knew why..
I guess because i was really feeling the emptiness in my heart..
Guess i was alone for too long..
Needed someone to be there for me when i needed..
So i just went into the r/s without thinking about my own feeling towards him..
Without thinking about the consequences would be for him and for me..
Foolish of me..
Guess i never truly loved anyone..
And guess i don't deserved to be loved by anyone else..
I hurt not only you, but also myself..
Came to know what a person i am..
I sort of hate myself now..
And i just want to say, sorry..
We don't suit each other afterall..
I will never put hope on love again..
Never dared to say i love anyone anymore..
Because i don't what is love..
What love truly is..
Perhaps i just don't understand love..
Perhaps i wasn't meant to be loved or love someone..
Never go into a r/s just because you felt lonely, empty and needed someone there..
Go into a r/s only when you truly loved each other..
Otherwise it will only end in tragic..
Like mine..
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wondering
9:02 PM
Well..
Have been wondering lately..
Hmm..
Is there something wrong with our current society?
Why are there more and more adults getting mental problems?
Have you realized that there are more cases of adults behaving like crazy people in the public?
I saw many on the bus...
And theres one in the mrt who got famous on youtube..
And all they do is randomly shouting hokkien vulgarities ...
Are they too stress until they got mental problems?
And why are they allowed to even go out ?
Aren't they suppose to be receiving treatments?
Why do their children even allow them to roam around and let people discriminate?
They even took videos and post it to the public..
Don't their children feel a thing when their parent is getting humiliated?
I don't know whats wrong with the society!
Well thats what i think though..
-sigh-
Monday, November 22, 2010
Lost
9:55 PM
I felt so lost..
With no motivation...
No aim...
No target...
No dream...
Living aimless..
I kind of feel useless..
It's like even if i don't exist...
The world won't change anything..
Continue spinning...
People living as usual..
There's nothing change even without me..
So sometimes i wonder...
Why am i even born?
Why am i even alive?
I contribute nothing..
My Existence is so insignificant..
Don't worry i won't go and die..
I'm just saying what i thought..
So don't worry okays?
Although i think that way..
I still cherish my life..
There"s only one life for me to live..
Life is no Nintendo game..
I understand that..
I will try to live my life to my fullest..
I guess...
Try to figure my aims and stuff..
Sigh...
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Looks
4:48 PM
Is looks everything?
Does looks weight more that the feeling,inner self, character or personality?
Often, people are stun with this type of question..
Because if you say looks doesn't weight more,
You could be contradicting to yourself..
Because often, people will always look at the appearance first..
And there will be a certain percentage in your heart that you give that person..
And whenever there's a pretty girl or handsome guy, you will automatically stick your eyes on to that person..
So its really difficult to judge whether looks are really everything?
Well,
Sometimes that is through understanding that we get to know more and better about that person.
And sometime,
Feelings are developed when you get to know more about that person and got attracted
And by that time,
I guess the looks doesn't really matter anymore right?
I always liked this sentence " Looks are always just a bonus :) "
Could be utterly true..
Because its hard to find someone who understands you and you understand him/her..
All the warmth,caring,love,sweetness,joy,sadness he/she gave you are irreplaceable..
So perhaps whether he/she looks pretty/handsome is just a bonus you get if you manage to find that someone..
I was pretty stumbled when my friend ask me what type of boyfriend that im looking for..
Because i had no answer..
So he guided me..
When came across of this question " appearance? handsome/average/bad matters?"
I voted average but of course appearance don't really matter just prefer average..
So i guess im half half? half of appearance matter and half of appearance not matter?
Im contradicting..
So i said depends on how well i know that person :)
And i asked back him, what type of girls do guys like to find..
He said " All guys are looking for the same type of girls.."
"Caring,Sweet,Pretty,Warmth"
And i caught the word pretty..
So i guess i will never be a choice for any guys XD
Oh well but i must agree..
I guess all guys are looking for the same type of girls
And all girls are looking for the same type of guys..
But somehow god always let us to be mismatched huh?
Otherwise there won't be so much of a relationship problems eh?
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Worrying
7:01 PM
Ops...
I made my friends worried about me..
Guess i was being too emo nowadays..
With my status, msn nick,display messages..
Sorry guys!
I didn't meant to make you guys worry!
But i just cant help myself from feeling this way...
Thanks for being caring to me!
Atleast i felt warmth around me :)
But even though with you guys around me...
I still feel that emptiness in me..
Because thats something you guys cant give me...
Only that other half will be able to give you that feeling...
So that you will not feel that emptiness/loneliness
Sorry, but its the truth!
I'm sure you people feel this way too!
I know you guys are there for me!
And i APPRECIATED IT!
THANKS! <3
I don't when i will be fine again...
Because i really don't know what's wrong with me..
Perhaps i need time to adjust... i guess?
But im still me :)
when you guys are around im still that happy cheerful me :)
I will only show that out when im alone..
Thanks alot! <3
@fadhlina: thanks for being there :) Always showed concern when i change my status or msn nick.. cheering me up, talking to me, advising me
@haz: thanks for being there too! :D we always shared our problem and give each other advices! :D
@jerome:thanks for listening! :D always nag at you about my stuff XD sorry for making you irritated if i did make you feel that way! and you get well soon! sick 1 week plus haven recover! take care!!
Friday, November 12, 2010
1st Solo Presentation
4:08 PM
On Thursday,
I did my first solo presentation!
Although it just 3min presentation..
I was damn nervous!!
I don't even have the mood to eat lunch..
Bought lunch but only ate a mouthful..
Damn wasted..
Two of my friends joked that they shouldn't have bought lunch..
Cause they get to eat so much of the leftover.. LOL!
After presentation i was so damn relieved!!
And...
Felt SUPER HUNGRY..
Was so nervous and worried for the past few days that i didn't even do my tutorials =P
Got to start doing today..
Something is really wrong with me..
I don't know what..
I just feel like I am me anymore..
Screw it!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
思念是一种病 Si Nian Shi Yi Zhong Bing (Yearning Is a Kind of Sickness)-Zhang Zheng Yue 张震岳
9:58 PM
當你在穿山越嶺的另一邊 我在孤獨的路上沒有盡頭
When you are on the other side of the mountains and hills, there’s no end to my lonely road
一輩子有多少的來不及
In a lifetime how many times are you too late
發現已經失去最重要的東西
in discovering you’ve already lost what’s most important to you
恍然大悟早已遠去 為何總是在犯錯之後
Sudden realizations are long gone, why is it only after making mistakes
才肯相信錯的是自己
that you’re willing to believe that you are the one who was wrong
他們說這就是人生 試著體會
They say that’s just life, you have to try and learn from experience
試著忍住眼淚 還是躲不開應該有的情緒
Try enduring falling tears or you’ll hide yourself away from the feelings you should have
我不會奢求世界停止轉動
I can’t plead with the world to stop turning
我知道逃避一點都沒有用
I know avoidance isn’t useful at all
只是這段時間裡 尤其在夜裡
It’s just that right now, especially at night
還是會想起難忘的事情
I’ll still think of things that are hard to forget
我想我的思念是一種病 久久不能痊癒
I think my yearning is a kind of sickness, for so long I haven’t been able to recover from it
當你在穿山越嶺的另一邊 我在孤獨的路上沒有盡頭
When you are on the other side of the mountains and hills, there’s no end to my lonely road
時常感覺你在耳後的呼吸 卻未曾感覺你在心口的鼻息
I often think I feel you breathing behind my ears, but I’ve never felt the breath of your deepest thoughts
汲汲營營忘記身邊的人需要愛和關心
Frantically forgetting that the people beside us need love and concern
藉口總是拉遠了距離
excuses always increase the distance between us
不知不覺無聲無息 我們總是在抱怨事與願違
Unwittingly, unknowingly, we’re always busy complaining and disobeying
卻不願意回頭看看自己
yet we’re unwilling to look back and examine ourselves
想想自己 到底做了什麼蠢事情
Thinking of what foolish things we’ve actually done
也許是上帝給我一個試煉
perhaps it’s God testing me
只是這傷口需要花點時間
It’s just that this wound requires a bit of time
只是會想念過去的一切
it’s just that I yearn for everything that has passed
那些人事物會離我遠去
Those people and things are far from me
而我們終究也會遠離變成回憶
and we eventually will also find distance turned to memories
當你在穿山越嶺的另一邊 我在孤獨的路上沒有盡頭
When you are on the other side of the mountains and hills, there’s no end to my lonely road
時常感覺你在耳後的呼吸 卻未曾感覺你在心口的鼻息
I often think I feel you breathing behind my ears, but I’ve never felt the breath of your deepest thoughts
Oh 思念是一種病 Oh 思念是一種病 一種病
Oh yearning is a kind of sickness, oh yearning is a kind of sickness, a kind of sickness
多久沒有說我愛你
For how long have you not said I love you
多久沒有擁抱你所愛的人?
for how long have you not embraced the people you love
當這個世界 不再那麼美好
When this world is no longer so lovely
只有愛可以讓它更好
only love can make things better
我相信 一切都來得及 別管那些紛紛擾擾
I believe, it’s still not too late, ignore those constant disruptions
別讓不開心的事 停下了腳步
Don’t make unhappy things stop your progress
就怕你不說 就怕你不做
I’m just afraid you won’t speak, just afraid you won’t act
別讓遺憾繼續 一切都來得及
Don’t let the regret continue, it’s still not too late
當你在穿山越嶺的另一邊 我在孤獨的路上沒有盡頭
When you are on the other side of the mountains and hills, there’s no end to my lonely road
時常感覺你在耳後的呼吸 卻未曾感覺你在心口的鼻息
I often think I feel you breathing behind my ears, but I’ve never felt the breath of your deepest thoughts
Oh 思念是一種病 Oh 思念是一種病 一種病
Oh yearning is a kind of sickness, oh yearning is a kind of sickness, a kind of sickness
Without You
9:26 PM
Its so fast..
Really fast...
1 week plus since we parted ways..
I really kind of miss your random, surprise messages..
Your morning and night messages..
But I no longer need to camp beside my phone..
Nor keep checking my phone for messages...
I guess we just don't suit each other..
You are just too childish...
Until sometimes i just cant take it..
You said you will change...
But you didn't..
I don't blame you because i know its difficult to change...
I just don't know how to 遷就 you every time..
Im just tired of keep clinging on you when you don't even do your part..
Its all too late for you to apologise and realise that you didn't make any efforts..
Just too late...
I gave you chances before..
But you took it for granted..
And stop being nice to me because i will feel guilty..
Everything is just too late..
Good Bye...
Monday, November 1, 2010
2nd week of school
8:19 PM
Its only second week of school and i felt all stressed up already!!
Can't seems to focus well...
Getting irritated by relationship etc..
Started project work already!
Seriously i need to get hold a grip of myself!!
Stop falling in too deep!
Need to focus on studying!!
Still need to think about the 3min presentation on the topic of
"If you can be someone famous, who will that be and why?"
I'm very scared!!
Don't presentation at all!
Need to wear formal!
I only got my working clothes...
Don't know whether can wear for the presentation or not!!
Need to stop thinking about stupid stuffs..
And stop hoping for something that will never happen!!
FOCUS ON STUDYING!!
NEED TO CONTRIBUTE MORE IN GROUP PROJECT!!
......................... T.T SAVE ME