Single & available. Just like any other girl,waiting for the special one :) Oh and never toy with my feelings, i'm pretty serious about it :)
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Tonight,
Had a little argument...
Maybe i took the joke too seriously?
Or maybe the joke was too over?
I don't know..
But this argument is is not about who is right
It's about who's fault is it..
We both claim that we had fault..
End up fighting about which of us is at fault...
Whole conversation becomes " No i am the one at fault sorry"
"No i am the one who is at fault sorry"
So i decided to say,
"Lets forget this,take it that we both had fault"
And we are fine again...
Well i hope we are...
But the conclusion is,
We didn't push the fault to one another..
Instead, we put the blame at ourselves...
Isn't it nice?
Because most argument end up push faults at one another..
But we didn't..
So i am glad actually..
And I just wanna say Sorry...
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Okay..
I seriously think I am blind or something..
Went opposite coffee shop to eat dinner..
After that went home..
Then on msn at around 10 plus..
YY msned me..
Saying "just nw ps, lol, i wif family"
Then i was like " wrong chat?"
Then he replied " -..- u just nw go eat dinner i was ard there.."
I was like " huh?! where were you i didn't saw you"
Truth is, he was sitting quite near to me...
And my eyes were stuck infront of the table infront of mine,
Parents with 3 kids ordered so many dishes..
And my eyes was also stuck on the tv..
He even know what top and bottom i wear..
I feel so damn pai seh lah!!
Didn't even saw him..
He thought i saw him and never give him any sign...
But seriously i didn't even know where are you~
So Sorry!
Conclusion ,when i am hungry,
I can't really observe..
And i am definitely BLIND!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I have no idea of whether to believe what you said,
Or to treat your words as rubbish..
Can i even trust you?
Seriously, i have an unsure answer..
I know i am foolish enough to even accept it..
But sometimes i just couldn't control myself..
i didn't think of the consequences..
Accept it on a blur mind...
Screw me..
But i feel so happy this few days..
All the sweet talks,
I melted..
Perhaps no one ever treat me that well before..
I know i shouldn't just believe..
But i really wished it was real..
No lies, no nothing..
But i guess i am just being silly...
Hope the worst doesn't come..
i hope i am not making any wrong choice...
But if i really did,
It's a stupid choice..
It's gonna be alright..
I am just gonna hope for it..
If i really get into troubles..
I cant blame anyone..
I bought it upon myself..
Saturday, August 21, 2010
My world is full with liars..
Forever lying to me..
Why did you have to lie?
I trusted you so much..
Trusted everything you said..
Yet you lied to me..
And let me caught red handed...
If you wan to lie..
I rather you lie properly..
So that I wouldn't find it suspicious..
And i wouldn't be able to catch you red handed..
Can't you tell me the truth ?
What's so difficult of telling the truth?
Did you know that once you start lying,
You wouldn't stop?
Because of that 1 lie you made,
You got to come up with 10 other lies to cover it up..
And for that 10 other lies you made,
You got to come out hundred of lies to cover it up..
And this goes forever...
Lies multiplying..
I treated you as a friend...
I want the truth..
I hate liars..
Seriously hate...
Stop making me to hate you..
why did you have to lie?
i am utterly disappointed..
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Just as i thought..
It never lasted long..
I knew you were just kidding with me all along..
But still I can't stop myself from putting a little hope..
A little hope on you..
Doesn't matter how tiny it is..
And today,
That light just went off..
That glimpse of light just went off..
Off it goes with the tiny little hope too..
Everything just disappear..
Filled with darkness again..
I know that's it..
It's all over..
I guess from tomorrow onwards,
You will disappear from my world..
The traces of you in my world will be buried deep in my heart..
Only memories shall remain..
Those words could mean nothing to you..
But for me,
It's everything..
Thanks alot for encouraging me with your message..
Although i know the content that you said,
You don't really mean it..
But still it make me happy,
It make my day =D
Really , Thank You..
And from this moment onwards,
You will no longer exist in my world..
Goodbye..
Thanks,
我知道的。是我笨嘛。
I am always unwanted aren't I?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I found a glimpse of light today..
Someone told me something today..
Those words make me real happy..
I know those words are probably to just pity me, make me feel better...
And most probably not real...
But still I couldn't stop smiling while seeing that message..
That moment you gave me was unforgettable..
I know that happiness you gave me will not last long..
I know you will soon leave me..
I know...
But i guess it just doesn't matter..
At least you gave me a short period of happiness that no one has ever did..
You gave me a glimpse of light, hope..
That my world wasn't just filled with darkness..
You gave me warmth..
I know it will be short,
But i will never forget the warmth, happiness you gave me in that short period..
Would never forget the nice chat we had
Thanks Alot
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Hmm..
Alot of people says that im so lonely,
Nobody wants me etc etc
But the truth is,
They are not exactly unwanted..
They are people out there wanting them,
But is just that they don't like them..
Thus they still being single..
Yet they sounded so poor thing saying that nobody wants them..
I just don't understand..
They are not exactly unwanted..just perhaps the person they like don't like them..
But why are they sounding so despo..
They have no idea what is being unwanted..
No idea at all...
Only those who went through truly understands it..
Sunday, August 15, 2010
I felt like im just wasting my time,day...
No mood to do anything,
No motivation at all,
Totally aimless in my life..
I have no idea what my future is,
nor have anything of what i want to be..
Im just living my life aimlessly..
Feeling pathetic..
Studies, yes studies..
I know that i have to get good grades to continue my studies..
But without a aim,goal, objective...
I have no motivation to strive hard at all..
Everyday i wake up,
my mind is " study hard today!"
But i will think for what reason?
NO IDEA!
I need to find my goals to get motivation..
If not i will definitely not do well for my exam...
SHIT ME!
Friday, August 13, 2010
WHEEEEEEE~
Today went to eat Sakae with my friends!!
I SWEAR we ate damn alot!!
Going by 3,4,5 plates!
Ate handrolls, Sushi, Salmon, CHAWAMUSHI!!
And lots of side dishes~
Was damn freaking full!
Follow by desert!
FULL!!
[In the shop, they played my favourite Idol, Shibasaki Kou's song! Sweet Dream & Lover Soul. I WAS SO DAMN HAPPY! I thought she was unknown in Singapore! And i manage to hear her song in a shop! =D ]
After that we went to playground~
Took tons of pictures with them!!
Its been very long !!
Haven't met them for gathering !
Today finally did!
Had FUN! Really!
On the way home,
My mum called,
Asking me still want dinner?
I was like " NO I AM SUPER FULL!" XD
GREAT DAY TODAY! (although i didn't studied XD)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
I feel damn disappointed of myself..
Always says I am gonna study..
Gonna study..
But not once i fulfill it..
Wasted the time by using comp,playing games,watching tv..
I know how to reflect myself..
But never once i did anything to change myself..
Whats the point of reflection myself but doing nothing about it..
WAKE UP PLEASE!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Hmm...People always said that life is unfair..
So unfair!etc...
Well for me..
Life is definitely unfair!
Let me ask you,
Did you get a chance to choose whether you want to be born or not?
Did you get a chance to choose where do you want to be born?
Whether Singapore,Malaysia,Japan or wherever you want?
Get a chance to choose the family you wanted to be born?
Whether rich or poor?
Whether you are elder or younger?
The answer is : NO
So i guess it is not about whether life is fair or not..
But is about how you LIVE your life..
Whether you did enough to get the results you wanted..
Whether you live it to the fullest..
Or you choose to just slack..
It is all in your hands..
If you said life is unfair..
You are the one who cause it to be unfair..
Well that is my point of understanding life..
Try finding yours to understand how you should live your life.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
I always thought that poly friends will be the same like secondary school friends..
But you know...
I am kind of wrong...
They are just simply not the same...
I wonder why is there such a big difference?
My secondary school friends told me that poly friends are scary..(Don't want to elaborate more)
I said "Really? Mine seems okay o.O"
Well Its does seems okay..
But actually i think not...
They are much more competitive than in secondary school..
Asking your marks every now and then...
When lost to you..... ( emo?)
They are like very scare to lose out to you...
They want to win you...
They are having this mindset...
Or should i have this kind of mindset too?
Am I the one who is not pushing myself to be more outstanding?
Will i lose out without having this kind of mindset?
I seriously have no idea..
This is kind of mindset good or bad?
Are they like this in their secondary school? with their friends?
Should i change too?
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Today took back our INFA MCQ test paper...
I got 68/100~
That sucks to the max!
I was expecting at least 80 or so..
Worst thing is that i got POA background and i lost to someone who don't have!
Super Sad!
Haix...becoming more and more not confident..
Oh well, Went to IS building to sign up for Japanese 102!
Hope i can Hang On!
Then the journey home was hilarious!
I just couldn't stop laughing!
And Best thing is that my friend is back to his original self!
At least not so emo...
Really wonder if 'The Secret' works at all...
HOPE IT DOES!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
For today's LMS lesson the teacher let us watch a movie called 'The Secret'
It states that everything one wants/needs may be accomplished by only wishing it..
With the help of the Law of Attraction principle.
The "Law of Attraction" principle posits that feelings and thoughts can attract events, from the workings of the cosmos to interactions among individuals in their physical, emotional, and professional affairs.
With the positive thinking of 'I Can' 'I Will' 'I Want' ,
you will get the results you wanted somehow in life..
The time taken for you to achieve it depends on whether you stay in alignment of the result you wanted.
Everything will be in line if you are having the good feelings..
If you are having bad feelings, you will never ever be able to achieve the ending results that you wanted..
The world is like a catalog..
You will get what you wished for somehow in life..
That is if you believe it will happen someday..
If you don't believe it..you will never be able to get it in life...
You can start with nothing..
But you will end it with the ending results you wanted in life..
It's a good documentary film~
Go watch it when you have the time =D
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
有人說
世界上最遙遠的距離不是生與死
而是我就站在你面前
你卻不知道我愛你
Every time when I see you,
This is the feeling i get..
"someone said, the world longest distance is not between life and death..
But is that I am just standing in front of you and yet you don't know that I Love You"
How true for me...
This is what i call so near yet so far...
You are so close to me..
Can just grab you within my reach..
But our hearts are so far apart..
Sometimes i just want to tell you..
But I am just afraid..
Not afraid of the results ( okay not really..deceiving myself)
Just afraid that I will lose you..
Afraid that we will be friends no more..
SADNESS!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
I wonder...does being home alone let you become more emo?
Because I did..
I was home alone today...
Did practically nothing..
Went to facebook to see sad love story...
Cried for every sad love story I read..
Then thoughts came rushing in my mind...
They have that special one to create a love story..
But why am I alone ?!
WHY?!
I really have no idea...
Looking out of the windows and at the sky..
With the cold wind blowing..
All I can feel is loneliness..
Tears came rolling down my cheek like an open tap..
Thinking and thinking why do even this kind of girl have that special one but i don't have?!
[ I know thats bad thinking that way..but i just can't help it !]
Thinking why is life so unfair!
Thinking am I that bad?! I am worst than that kind of girl?!
Went to the bed..listening to songs..Tears still wouldn't stop..
Cool down a little...Tears stop..and it was already 6.30pm
Mum called to ask me to buy dinner myself because she was stuck in a jam..
And then she said " You used to call me automatically asking where am I..but now become i call you.. you changed hor.."
After hearing this my tears instantly flow out..trying to control it so my mum wouldn't know..
Giving her the orh orh orh and then hang up..
I started to cry again...
Thinking did i changed?
Really?
All those thoughts just keep coming to my mind...
Managed to stop myself from crying..cause i don't want my mum to see my swollen eyes..
Went to get dinner and parents came back at around 8pm plus...
Home alone really does set u thinking..but mine in a wrong direction..should be thinking about future but i just went wild thinking about stupid stuff!
FOOLISH ME!
Nice Person
10:31 AMIt's been a long time since i met any nice person(i mean stranger)
Well yesterday went to BBQ with my secondary school friends~
Venue: Sembawang HomeTeam NS
Had fun with them!
All the chats,laughter and memories ~
We stay till around 12.30am (midnight)
So there's no bus nor train~
We decided to take cab!
We separated to different cabs as it's going different direction..
I took a cab with my friend who lives in Bishan!
While in the cab,we ask the uncle around how much we will be needing..
the uncle replied " I not sure...but if u all have no money also never money..I very kind one"
We look at each other and then explain to the uncle that we have..just don't know need how much hahas~
So after that my friend drop off first because is Bishan first then Serangoon!
So when i reached my place..
The taxi fare was $21.30
I gave the uncle $22
He gave me back $7..
Saying " I charge you $15 lah~ See u all student then i take your money like not good..later you all no money.."
I was stun and i kept saying thank you to the uncle!!
Seriously I never met any so nice taxi uncle before yet!!
So I love this uncle TO THE MAX! =D